Full Hands Can't Grasp

Because of some family related emailing making the family rounds over the past couple of weeks, the concept of happiness has been furiously revolving about my brain and its highways and byways. There are a couple of posts that will involve this basic idea of 'how to be happy', but not in the self-help, motivational speaker kind of way.

First up is a piece I wrote over ten years ago, goaded by an acquaintance and her constant whining about how her prayers were never answered. I thought that they were constantly answered but that she just wasn't listening to the answers! My imagination took over at this point and the following piece is the result.

Full Hands
 

Dear Father in Heaven..

Yes?

I ask for Your blessings upon me this day.

You are going to have to let go.

Huh? Let go? Of what?

Let go of what you are holding.

I’m not holding anything.

Yes you are. Let go of it.

You are going to have to help me here Lord. Could You specify please?

How about all that anger? You seem to be grasping the memories of more than a few grievances: unfairness at work, being passed over for an opportunity, being patronized as unimportant, and being excluded from the unit clique

Well they are all true and I am really upset about them. I’ve spent I don’t know how many days angry and nights crying because of it all. If I just forgive and forget, I’ll open myself up for even more of the same. No Lord, I cannot let this go.

Then let go of your impatience with your acquaintances. You are too preoccupied with their comments and their choices that provoke you.

Come on! Two of my so-called ‘friends’ like to tease me about my affiliation with the church and with my belief in You. Why are You defending the likes of them?

I’m not defending or accusing. I am asking you to let go of your bad feelings toward them. I will look after them in my own way because they too are my creations.

Yeah, yeah, I know the drill. But You can’t expect me to just roll over and expose my underbelly to them. No, Lord, I cannot let go.

Why not let go of your worry about finances?

You can’t be serious about that. My income has been reduced because of illness, which frankly, I asked You to cure. I can accept that it pleases You to keep me in this mess for Your own purposes, but I don’t think it’s fair that it should cause financial hardship. Now You tell me to let go of the worry? Hah!

Why not sell off some of your larger items that you no longer need? Then you could get some bills paid and you wouldn’t need to pay storage fees.

I can’t do that. Those pieces of furniture have been in the family for years.

You aren’t using them.

So what? I can’t sell off family items and I have to rent storage space because my place is so tiny there isn’t room to turn around without knocking something over.

Give some of those things away and make some room for yourself.

Why should I do that? I already have less than many of my friends. I don’t even have my own house. Why should I give away my stuff? I already give money every month to the church. That’s plenty of giving, thank You very much.

Do you give enough so that you feel some pinching? Does your gift involve sacrifice?

I don’t know what You mean. Obviously if I give money, then it is money I don’t get to spend on myself which seems sacrificial to me. Honestly it’s always the same. No matter how much I give, somebody asks for more, more, more. I’m not giving up any more possessions or money. 
 

How about time? Can you let go of some time for me? Could you visit the sick, the shut-in, serve lunch to the poor, take blankets to the homeless?

Listen Lord. I already attend church every Sunday, attend a prayer and study group, and help out with the youth group. I have no more time to give up. My schedule is full. Why just this week alone along with the previously mentioned items, I have a fitting at the seamstress, a therapeutic massage, a dental appointment, an assertiveness course, and a movie with my film group to attend. I deserve some time to myself after all. No I’m afraid I have no more time to give.

Well then, I guess we can’t do much today. I’ll be here the next time you call.

Wait a second. What about sending me some blessings? I’m sore and tired. I am worried and broke. I am pressed for time, cramped, and angry.

I did tell you to let go of all that.

But I want you to get rid of it for me. I want blessings!

My dear child, your hands are full. They simply have no room to hold any blessings. Your hands are clutching all sorts of things. You cannot catch my blessings with your hands clenched. Open them. Let the things you are grasping slide out of your hands. I will take them and transform them into blessings. By then, your hands will have room to hold them. You have filled your hands yourself. Empty those hands and let me fill them.

Empty Hands:  from Concord Pastor.blogspot.com